Are you able to burn those bridges and move on?

Burning bridges. 0r Ruminations ? obsessions (that’s _me_))

My Travels with Depression

This week’s writing class assignment is to randomly select a writing prompt from a book, Imageor something.  Then write for at least 5 minutes your response to the chosen words. 

At the beginning of our writing group, each member received a “Recovery College” writing pad.  On the top of each page, there is a quote.  The page I am onto now has this quote at the top. 

“May the Bridges I burn light the Way”

That quote will be my writing prompt.  .  This is my five minutes of rambling and hopefully I might learn how to burn some bridges.

ImageBurning bridges/letting go is evidently not my strong point.  I hang onto day-to-day disputes/mishaps and then obsessively ruminate over them for days, sometimes weeks.  I exhaust myself with the mental torture and I neglect my life by being caught up in so much internal drama.  

Is that part of…

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Wild horse ((& Cat *Kindsfather)) advocates say the BLM jeopardized public process

Wild horse advocates say the BLM jeopardized public process.

…& this NewsCaster…seems to Be in *Agreement *, as well! 😀 {{“nearly public-Less” MEETING…was May 29}}
Excerpt:::::

CARSON CITY, NV (KRNV & Mynews4.com) – Wild horse roundups are a controversial topic in Nevada & across the country. But at a public meeting at Bureau of Land Management office in Carson City today, that was not the only issue.
BLM holds an annual public comment meeting at 1 of their district offices each spring. The topic at this meeting was the use of motorized vehicles & aircraft during wild horse & burro roundups. “I’m totally against that. I think it’s a horrific way to treat the horses,” said Carson City resident Rosette Moltz. Moltz showed up too late for the meeting & was not able to put her comments on the record.
• Wild horse advocates who were not able to make it – say they were not given proper notification of this public comment meeting.
“I have Google alerts and I didn’t see it. Nobody really knew about it,” said Cat Kindsfather. She was at the meeting representing Protect Mustangs, an advocacy group in California. The organization put out a letter in the past few days that read “Breaking News: Government transparency and public process jeopardized.”
Anne Novak is Exec. Director of Protect Mustangs. She says she only found out about the meeting a few days ago, & did not have time to make arrangements to attend. “The whole country should be given adequate notice to participate in person, as well as via email,” said Novak.
• BLM put out a release May 18th, that’s just 5 business days before the meeting. The meeting was also listed on their website. But Novak says that is not good enough. She believes BLM should give 30 days notice.….
• BLM Wild horse & burro Specialist John Axtell was in charge of the meeting. Axtell says BLM is not required to give 30 days notice & this is the 1st time they have received a complaint like this. “In the past we haven’t had much interest at this office. Often people who show up are all local,” said Axtell.
But wild horse advocates say that is not true. They brought statements from people from across the country to the meeting. “The issue is about motorized vehicles, helicopters & such, and that * applies to America’s wild horses which are all American people’s horses,said Kindsfather.
• 0nly 4 people spoke out at today’s meeting. BLM officials say due to the low turnout they will allow people to send in their comments until June 12, 2012.…

t © Copyright 2011 Intermountain West Communications Company.

S*h*a*r*i*n*g S0me Comments::

♦ To whom it may concern:

Not only are the wild horses & burros victims of abuse at the hands of your agency, but, so are
we, the American people, who admire & love OUR wild horses & burros. We are anguished & tormented with the knowledge of your brutal methods. We should be able to rest easy in knowing that these animals, that are so beloved by the American peoplewe got an act of congress passed with unanimous consent in 1971, – are truly protected.
Instead, we continue to have to fight for their very existence on the open range. This was settled years ago~ ∞
but sneaky amendments unpopular with the American people have been snuck into bills without the oversight of the American people -&- weakened the intended 1971 protections.
These animals are beloved & cherished for a reason.
Without them our country would not be what it is today. Wars since then would have been lost, & our lives would not have been enriched. … Numerous abuses have been documented of helicopter stampedes, in which burros are pushed with skids -&- knocked to the ground … & elderly animals are run until dropping in complete exhaustion, only to be harassed some more.
Removing the ancient wisdom from these herds does great harm to them. The older equid are the reservoirs of knowledge. They know where to find water, & where to travel in the seasons for forage. The old stallions, jacks, mares, & Jennies are the ones who determine whether conditions are right for increasing their herd size … & they adhere strictly to nature’s program for propagation.
The irony is not lost on me, that:
if they were left completely alone-∞- nature would provide the balance. And, the land would thrive as a result. … Much work has been done by promoters of holistic range management proving that the “science” currently being used by the BLM, Forest Service, + Texas Parks & Wildlife Department does not work. The lands continue to desertify at an alarming rate, – yet the same practices [are] causing this rapid decline?!

Miss Abby – 6/6/2012 9:59 PM

It is an utter disgrace, what is going on in this “once mighty country” -the land of “Freedom”! The fact is that our very freedom is being jeopardized in front of our eyes, and the way the government is treating our Wild Horses, our “Symbols of Freedom, reflects how little regard the administration has for the concept of FREEDOM and for it’s people. What kind of message is this★ sending to the rest of the world?
This★ America is NOT “United” any more.… It is “Dividedby GREED for MONEY. It is a travesty, that our Government is siding with & representing corporate greed, rather then the People! The horses who have been the most valiant in helping “humanity” are sacraficed once again..…this time it is in the name of GREED!
We the People, are speaking; NO HELICOPTER OR MOTORIZED, OR ANY OTHER KIND OF ROUND UPS! Allow the horses & other wild animals exist in PEACE.
It is ludicrous, what the BLM is saying, that a wild animal will just “walk peacefully” when a huge noisy machine decends upon them.… Horses are pray animals, & they will run to avoid danger. Everything the BLM is doing, is against veterinary advice; running heavily pregnant mares & 1-2 month old foals for even 1 mile will hurt them……yet the BLM “only” runs them for mere 6 miles? on rocky ground in 100+ degree, &/ or below freezing weather in snow. All one has to do is open their eyes & really look to see the panic the fear, & some times the incredible will & courage to remain free. There has been numerous tragic attempts to jump 6′ tall fences, or charge it and die with a broken neck. To see a beautiful free animal end up such tragic fate, breaks a persons heart, &- takes our “Audacity of Hope” away in these hard times!

Windhorse49 – 6/4/2012 7:23 AM

BLM has no transparency, they are very crooked & have a slaughter panel, yes a pro slaughter panel of decision makers on what to do with wild horses, i think that’s pretty cut & dry of —what Ken Salazar has in mind for the wild horses.

Kelly941 – 5/31/2012 5:11 PM

Do you not think those horses are not scared to death, of the helicopters, & all terrain vehicles, & comotion that it takes to do this. These horses are also injured, foals etc. How sad, all for what. BLM says they are ruining the grounds, but once they take all the horses out, they open up the watering holes so the cows can rome freely. Don’t cows leave footprints too. Anyway, this is all blood money for the government, trying to boost our dying economy. This could lead to our wild horses becoming extinct….is this what we want people. Enough is enough already. What are they going to do when they are all gone, start selling our pets!! This is really corrupt & decietful to the American people who know nothing….because they don’t want people to find out what they are up to. Not only is this very inhumane for the animals, sold to kill-buyers & then off to slaughter.
It is also being done on taxpayer’s dollars. Does this not want to make you scream? BLM, leave our wild horses & burro’s alone, they do not even belong to you. Cut the crap, lies & GREED! I’m not buying it & niether are a whole lot of other people who WILL find out your dirty little secret.

Nola sater – 5/31/2012 12:44 PM

Believe it or not, but helicopters are much more humane & less stressful on the horses than gathering them on horseback. Using saddle horses to catch these horses is like watching a stampede as horsemen try to control the galloping horses hellbent to get away. Those who couldn’t keep up were left behind. Saddle horses were in danger trying to keep up with the more hardy mustang running on their own turf. Now that is dangerous for horses & horsemen alike. Helicopters herd the horses at the pace THEY set until the last push into the trap. That is the only time these horses are “stampeded.” Foals & old horses can keep up & are not left behind as they were in the old days of using cowboys & saddle horses to chase them down. As for no gathers??? Every animal needs a population control. Horses have few to none depending on the region they live. They grow at 20% each year. They live in arid to semi-arid places. Grass abundant? No. Water abundant? No. They have to share these limited resources with wildlife & plants. And yes, cattle leases that have been around LONG before the Wild Horse Act. Not gathering & maintaining horse populations will result in degraded rangelands & threaten wildlife populations. Please think about the whole ecosystem & the whole picture before letting your hearts run so completely with wild horses.

Wallingj – 5/31/2012 12:02 PM ::

Sometimes I just do not know where to begin, will what I say make a difference, will those so called open for comment meetings make a difference to the wild horses (BLM)…..Does it matter what we have to say, the tax payer as it seems the BLM do just what they want anyway and when videos are taken and show burros and horses being hit with the skids or when a beautiful stallion that was just running free 10 minutes ago is now dead because he broke his neck in that chute they chased him into, does it matter what I say, does anyone other then people that care deeply for the horrible way in which these Mustangs are being treated care. Now I know that not all BLM employees are desensitized but it is fairly obvious for those that are watching what is happening see it, see the injustice, what exactly is it that allows people to not step in and say this is just not the way we treat our Wild Horses. Watching the last BLM meeting live stream and hearing the BLM saying that what they have done by gathering 47,000 is not working, now they say that, now that it could be possible to open up Slaughter Plants once again, now they say that…The Best interest is what they have in mind for these Mustang’s, then why is this inhumane treatment of them continuing, it is their way or no way, our comments mean nothing to them and the corruption continues to run rampant and here we are once again, trying to help the Mustangs and the abuse continues. So sad when those foals were forced to run and their hoofs were still soft and their hoofs just wore off to nothing, now isn’t that something that would make you or anyone sit up and say, this is abuse to a little foal, just trying to keep up with his Mamma and band while being chased by this object in the sky, would it not make you cringe?

jeannie – 5/31/2012 6:16 AM 1 Vote

“Waiting for – the Other shoe to drop” ∞ √Rejection Sensitivity, Irrational Jealousy, and its Impact on Relationships

advice from: excelatlife.com
http://www.excelatlife.com/print/fear_of_rejection.htm

image

∞ “Waiting for – the Other shoe to drop” ∞continuously
°÷{ (yep, that’s what *~he/they ≈always said, of Me≈… until : It DID!!) — yet, •|”÷¢
∞~i was N O T ~ P R E P A R E D ~ thus, –√i C R A S H E D, [*big-time! ]… & it’s fairly UNlikely that i-will-find a Way 0ut of the≈Shadow’s gloom~∞

—but: YOU Can …!!!…please, DO it –while there’s Time???

image
| Lantiën nú Huinë, uin polë et-túlienna, tenn’oio! (séyas…) |

«today» Why would *I ~Expect*…”a follow-up”?/a comment?/Any response?… (when All i am= totally Worth-LESS)•\|/÷{

«today» notification Feb 22, 2012 13:07 Wed: ¤k~s¤ Read? Follow Up: to Jan 27, Fri- Jim&me (Yay! 😀 way cool :* description…)

Follow-up request [auto-sent]: 2/10/2012 5:02 PM, 13 days ago–
(abt “our Conversation” on Jan 27; now 27 days prior!)
was *read? by }:€ ¤k~s¤ on 2/22/2012 1:07 PM
—» so…Why, 4 pete’s sake, would *I ever ~Expect*…”a follow-up”?/a comment?/or/Any response?…..even re: ± a Promise-made««
….TO a “seemingly true
~interest”/dialogue~ (i.e. Yay! 😀 way cool :* we said…)
»”;[
__NOR to Any Other thing? since____
{when All I -say, or think– is totally #Worth-LESS ?!?}
•\|/÷{ »all Yours,
from: ~Olóriondolindë, the loser~

post~~never forget that Life–IS a Miracle~~

Status

reminiscing / still-questioning? –Valentine Cards–2010..{the 3rd yr}

–*Valentine cards? 2010*
I FOUND the VALENTINE that you got For ME
(not sure, was it 2007 or 08?);
¤ You have Even
SIGNED it to Me, BUT…
you chose to Never GIVE it!

¤ Mine says:

“It takes only a Moment / to say ‘I love you’… //
…but it’ll take 9 Lives / to show you How Much!”
/
“I LOVE YOU! Soooo much / Xxx”
~¤~

I suspect that I Won’t
be getting a
“Be my Valentine”

card this year.
& that’s OK; it is a rather stupid tradition, anyway.
But it’s More than
a little bit Eerie
to have found this
OLD abandoned one!
…even after a week,
[yea, or 2 years + week…]
I can’t Help but Wonder: did you Mean those words, when You bought it? Or was it only the 1st “obligate” card that you picked up? If so;
or more puzzlingif not:
Why
did you Sign it like that– Yet, decide
Not to give it??
{Did it even
matter @ all, to You?}
I sat here cleaning up old files & stuff, & I then saw Your Pictures:
showing off an award with R;
sitting in a meeting (appearing ~interested); grinning @ a Surprise gift; posing with your KT @her graduation; or
grimacing thru’ a wet doggy kiss…
& I FEEL Proud of You! &
I Think..wow, You Look ‘great’! 😉
… But then, I Remember — that you truly ?Hate Me! that I have
to ?Hate You now!
that ‘things’ Were
Not ever- as they seemed to be?

{I never wanted for either of us to be
in “this situation”!…
I didn’t ask for this.
I LOVEd you;
I LOVE our Family;
• I LOVEd thinking abt “sitting in those
rocking chairs
on the porch, as We grew old & wise“!
• I still *Listen for You* to come IN the door…
• I wanted to be Happy, Too;
• I Always
wanted You to be happy.}

However, perhaps more disturbing (distressing?): I FOUND the
Christmas cards that
you bought For Us (all) on 12/21/2005,
BUT you chose to
Never GIVE them to us.?

¤MINE was / would be- very touching; it says:
[ “Merry Christmas to the One I love /
— TIME, /
That’s the Gift /
I want Most for us–
/ when we can just /
Be Together /
taking each Minute /
as it comes, /
enjoying each Word, / each Look, each Touch.
/ / TIME
, /
at Christmas /
and into the New year, /
Let’s make Sure /
we set aside Some. /
Just for US. /
To Talk, Relax, /
and Wrap ourselves /
in each other’s Arms
…” ]

So ¤ WHY didn’t We DO that? Why didn’t y0u Mean it?
(Or, that’s ~why you
Kept it, instead?)
{our daughter’s was cute & sweet; our son’s funny}

NOW, this ever-lasting Snow Storm–continues… & I stood here at early morn, watching its steady fall.
& each day has recalled “our Great 2003 snow storm”, here in this House!…
««Did you also remember it,
I wondered?»»
When We prepared our candles, fires & cocoa;
& Watched; & dug deep lanes thru’ yard & deck; & took Pictures as it -grew higher- every day, covering the bird-motel; & movies of little Kramer, scrambling to ‘get OUT’ of the cold stuff; &
we L a u g h e d ..!
Now I stare-out from amongst scattered dreams, snowflakes,
& broken promises, CDs, trinkets, & leaking gutters,
–while Your words »echo« around my mind…
(»what we need, »what we’ll do, how to stay safe & warm & Together«)
–& now it’s Only ME who gathers, who watches, who re-digs the paths– no 0ne else is
here or cares
to Enjoy the Beauty or
to Worry or even
to build a Fire with me or to eat Chili or
to Cuddle or lean-upon;

and it IS NOT “fun” or laughable This time!
Not ANYMORE;
not ever, I suspect
{for Y0u will remain,
.. w h i s p e r i n g of ~all this~
in My Mind,
yet seem only ~louder, for your Absence}…
I’m not whining; it is Just the Truth

When you told me,
“I have Loved you for as Long as I can remember
I just don’t want to destroy the Memories we have.”

I see now that you really did NOT mean that @ all, so…
[I just wanted to say this Again, ….for whatever little you care] :
I found You (or you found Me?)
& I KNEW I’d never need anyOne else!
¤ I thought YOU were a free-spirit, a thinker, a dreamer, who Still managed to carve a niche Out
of a conformist-world
;
who IS My Soul’s-mate;
yet I LOST you – or
(I was just delusional) ??
& I won’t find or
look for “a Y0U” again!
¤ I Found my
professional “calling” &
I Knew I’d never hate it!
~ yet LOST that, too ~
¤ I still want, …dream to
Do & See many things:
& I thought I’d actually
Get ~the~chance for most,
(+ most-of-all
¤ to SHARE them!) ;
…yet I will not!
¤ I’m a hopeless, Sentimental Romantic;
( I remain a ¤ gullible Fool ) who feels
quite INVISIBLE, indeed…

No, “the Day for LOVE” is over, now–
However,
MY ‘CARD’
for YOU was a painted 1, finished a few weeks ago!..
It simply has 2 Quotes,
in ‘that pretty writing’:
¤¤ “Ilya amápier i órë i-varello, ar entë ner ve óvëa ve atta vanimë nalatala ócarmier !“…
¤”Each had stolen the Heart from the Other, and They were as Matched as two splendid pictures!“¤¤ {Chrétien de Troyes, ~1180}
+
¤¤ “Cuilessë, tulintë Ómentier yan séyar ve Ambartanen”… ¤
In Life, there come Meetings which seem like Fate.” ¤¤
{Owen Meredith}

As you said, ” You and I see things differently.”

Happy Valentine’s Day, —-anyway Baby!
(I hope you @ least respected Me enough
to Read this?)

post~~never forget that Life–IS a Miracle~~

the sentimental, romantic V-day musings..»of an ~ever-gullible F00L»..»{the 3rd year}

—–2nd tryV-day CaLL
Date: 2/14/2012 18:23
Duration: 1:07 ignored 😦
& so left ❤ msg….
(TO) my ¤k~s¤ Xxx, Jr.
——>I said,
“hey, happy Val..en.., baby? …I just wanted to Say,
Happy Valentine’s day, 😉 Red Knight !”

[& I’m trying not 2 cry;
my voice was ~suspect, I imagine…]

“and I ~thought you’d wanna Hear
…about the/our° House,
& all of that ?? So… maybe, U can Call-back, then ~later ? or something /
or sometime?
ok…
uh,
Bye …” %:”{

_______________
then–>just went ahead & Sent…the text msg I’d prepared… yet ~hesitated 2 send.. ………
[but it Went w/Out the pic attached »:[
–>So, I RE-send (to both phone+email)…
along w/ a new msg, abt the Call…
_______________
≈ wow..& ¤ this makes me Feel…
So ~foolish~
, …such an idiot-Loser ! %B^(
~~~~~~~~»
± no 0ne knows ?
that…I just Had ¤ 2
find shoes & run-out
to Check my Mailbox ¤ 1st, ( just-in-case?…)
thus Remain: such a stupid Gullible hopeless~romantic…F00L, am I. “;^( ? ?

post~~never forget that Life–IS a Miracle~~

____________________________

________________________
–V-day msg: 2012—{ the 3rd 0ne }–
:;~* Happy day, baby! to ❤ my *FAVORITE Valentine*,
of ~all this ∞ World’s time…
( + the ~next~1 ) !! ❤ 😉 ❤
~~~~

** Rx :
keep this handy;
use ❤ Advice ~as needed
~
“I’ll Always Have a {{HUG}} that’s just *Your size !!”
^~C~^
~~~
¤ & of course,
*** I Do ¤ MISS U ¤
….still ∞ ! ;;^}

~so…¤
Hope 2 see/hear U soon- ?

{ I believe WE may yet *have much 2 Learn* from ea Other }…Still /:) ? ?
__________________________

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