seeing his enjoyment in taking your control…..

seeing his enjoyment in taking your control…..Mm.m……..


Are you able to burn those bridges and move on?

Burning bridges. 0r Ruminations ? obsessions (that’s _me_))

My Travels with Depression

This week’s writing class assignment is to randomly select a writing prompt from a book, Imageor something.  Then write for at least 5 minutes your response to the chosen words. 

At the beginning of our writing group, each member received a “Recovery College” writing pad.  On the top of each page, there is a quote.  The page I am onto now has this quote at the top. 

“May the Bridges I burn light the Way”

That quote will be my writing prompt.  .  This is my five minutes of rambling and hopefully I might learn how to burn some bridges.

ImageBurning bridges/letting go is evidently not my strong point.  I hang onto day-to-day disputes/mishaps and then obsessively ruminate over them for days, sometimes weeks.  I exhaust myself with the mental torture and I neglect my life by being caught up in so much internal drama.  

Is that part of…

View original post 291 more words

The Traumatised Child Within

My Travels with Depression

ImageThroughout life, rather than live with childhood trauma, many of us are inclined to run from the memories that transport us back to a place we try so hard to escape.

I imagine that every survivor of abuse has awareness for the need to forgive and move on – not for the abusers benefit, but for our own peace of mind.  There is desperation to find healing of the hurt, shame and humiliation.  At the same point, there is less of a willingness to forgive the perpetrator(s).

How can we find forgiveness in our hearts for people whose self-righteous arrogance Imagecannot admit they were wrong?  How can we overcome the anger for our abusers and the impact their actions have on our entire lives?  I seem to harbour some kind of mental block against achieving that idealistic state of forgiveness. 

At the weekend, something weird happened.  I became aware of…

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Mala-khitty ~wonders~ “what about our D.O.G.!?”

Mala-khitty ~wonders~ 20120625-2313

Mala-khitty ~wonders~ 20120625-2313

¤~¢at thoughts~¤
“(as •bad as I hate• 2 admit it….) ^±^°
≈what about our S p e l l I n g D.O.G. ???” ……
Sent: jun 26 00:13 …

Oh, yes— & K.m.a.n.* appears to have “survived” ^¤^
(he says, thanks 4 asking) AND that Degreaser/Cleaner Co. Called me this morning…{somewhat reassuring (tho’ rep. had n0 clue what she was ‘talkin’ about’;
& totally apologetic abt their *lame website; Mainly cuz I threatened 2 SUE them!}
* she’s sending both hard copy & email of MSDS sheets about the “chemicals contained”…& I Made her send it to Vet office, too -@ her “expense” <;[
[1st suggested I take My copy TO them? NO, no, I don’t Think so!? ]


post~~never forget that Life–IS a Miracle~~


How ¤ ironic?! -that the «Adjacent story» on Sci.Am. is: “RATS LAUGH, *BUT N0T LIKE HUMANS”… re: ‘Sandusky trial’ (& claim “Kids actually *Safer, now?”)

—Facebook newsfeed—»
cssssswv shared the following link + had this to say about it:

How ¤ ironic?! -that the «Adjacent story» on Sci.Am. is:
“RATS LAUGH, *BUT N0T LIKE HUMANS” …(so then they Tell us:
“Kids are actually★ *Safer, now”)- from Sexual Perverts???

–»AS Sandusky merely SHRUGS! when led 0ut of courtroom!*?*!
….. «Scientificamerican: Is Child Sexual Abuse [n0! n0t at all] On the Rise?»
re: Sandusky trial & others..

    “According to nation’s top experts, children are actually Safer from physical & sexual abuse than they have been for decades”….
    From 2005-2006, est. 553,000 Children suffered sexual/physical/emotional Abuse, “down 26% from 1993″…b/w 1993–2005, the # Sexually-Abused kids dropped 38%….in fact, this ‘incidence’ began to Drop -2 decades ago…

– ÷ – € – )\¤,_¤`/( – ÷ –

~tell That* to:

Jerry Sandusky’s “VICTIM-6 mom, [who sobbed] ‘we’ve lost all!’, while hugging her Crying SON”, in that Courtroom…

    {this “Man-Child” is 0nly 1 of 3 ain’t~gonna~Go~so~far~to~believe~him~too~n0n-guilty counts against his* Pervert, tonight!? } -of 45!more *believable ‘stories’? _why_?

1 comment suggests:

    ..never been a time when Accountability was as high as now..n0t 0nly did social status have more weight in the past…ensuring those With Highest status were able 2 get away with Whatever they wanted…& ability to Do things in ~secrecy much greater….

—while I cannot Disagree with him, -» I believe: This article* is Much More relevant, HERE! ?
“Child Abuse: Why People Look the Other Way?” Child Abuse: WHY People so often Look the Other Way
~tell That* to:

All those UNsafe “Children” & “Grown-adult-children” I’ve *SEEN, *Known, *Heard~ … {+ those who Won’t/Didn’t make it ~there}-to suffer M0Re…

    ___[hmmm..tweet @oloriondolinde: PennState plan “invite Sandusky victims to discuss” resolution? while #6 mom holds Crying Son @Reuters via @breakingnews 11:54 p.m. Fri.]

~tell That* to:
¤~the 1,000’s (? 100,000’s), who are still HIDING «- the #Rage / #guilt / #fear from their Own *Awareness~¤ ! {cuz it’ll ~sneak 0ut~ to Bite, ];£ ..eventually… }
Tweet from @oloriondolinde: When You Have Been #Betrayed via @ExcelAtLife when U have been Betrayed!
=»to tHose, who ~Trust~n0-0ne~~ •€8”[
…(& IF so, too Often -the Wrong-0ne)!…yet, they *do n0t realize ‘WHY’ ?

– ÷ – <|3 – ÷ –

–»& *although these “social research experts” ADMIT:

quote from Sci.Am.:

Dr. Finkelhor notes, “child victimization declines of the 1990s were something new, and *not simply the extension of trend lines* from the past. E.g., *available data on child abuse show strong increases in all forms of maltreatment from the mid-1970s into the 1990s.*
After a short plateau, the *sexual abuse decline seemed to start in 1992*; physical abuse *decline gained momentum after 1996*…. Many(?) analysts did not interpret the earlier rise as “necessarily indicative of a real increase” in child maltreatment -but rather- as result of a new public & professional mobilization to identify & report cases. But *data suggested real increases in the 1980s.”*

Overall, Dr. Finkelhor told, “There is very little evidence that child sexual abuse is on the rise in U.S., + considerable evidence that it is declining, including data from law enforcement, child protection & ‘surveys’ of victims themselves.”…

we-e-ell…it’s €ertain: : : n0t All “necessarily” (or) even “remotely Agree, here…
-moving along their ‘theory’:

    Causes of [late ’90’s significant] drop in child sexual abuse are complex; not completely understood.

{..uh.. (OR) perhaps, they’re just Now..becoming 0LD enough 2 *realize, or *report it ? ? …}

    Some experts point out, “overall crime rate” dropped significantly during same time.. child *Abuse rates* fell -along with murder/assault… Other analyses credit “economic prosperity” of 1980s & 1990s..

[WOW!-how’s that make U ~feel abt TODAY???]

    …as improving overall “social conditions” …others note that: maybe tougher penalties for sex crimes led to higher #’s of offenders – jailed.
    .. also likely that
    greater social Awareness of child abuse….

–»n0ne seem to “entertain the idea” ~that:
~1/2 or More of “those ’60’s, ’70’s, ’80’s kids”,

    like me (perhaps You?)

remain So gut-wrenchingly Sickened~ by “this phenomena”, which We *knew/felt/saw# ~all~t00~Closely~
{lives}*intricately woven with “its”ugly~colors, are instantly-ready, (via Knife or Fang)
to: Over *Protect children’s innocence
the 0ther #1/4 who proceed-to-become-Perpetrators, too ?!

[albeit, a ~bit of *credit is bestowed upon “realistic movie-Dramas”…]

    •|÷“bo!nk• … I dunno….

[[& a thoughtful Comment TO those inevitable Yahoos , slobbery with “anticipation” —let’s Blame this On the Gays! ‡8^P ]]:

Child abuse has *nothing to do with sexual orientation*. *pedophiles are aroused by sexual dominance* & *control, which makes children of either sex their potential victims.
However, *opportunities for men to prey on boys * are vastly more abundant [nowadays] than with girls.
Rarely are men [NOW] allowed unsupervised control & access to young girls,

{ & there IS a sad, sad Reason for ~that, too 😦 – }

but that circumstance is quite common for young boys. That’s *why pedophiles seek out Positions * in religious clergy, sports teams, scouts, etc. Most molesters are married men with children of own (Catholic priests aside.)
Clinical studies have shown that *openly gay men are the demographic least likely to be involved in child molestation*. If anyone thinks otherwise, then I submit that they have been mislead by untrustworthy sources of info.

(but I*did Learn this:

RATS LAUGH, BUT * N0T LIKE HUMANS … now ~that, i*Believe )

post~~never forget that Life–IS a Miracle~~

“Waiting for – the Other shoe to drop” ∞ √Rejection Sensitivity, Irrational Jealousy, and its Impact on Relationships

advice from:


∞ “Waiting for – the Other shoe to drop” ∞continuously
°÷{ (yep, that’s what *~he/they ≈always said, of Me≈… until : It DID!!) — yet, •|”÷¢
∞~i was N O T ~ P R E P A R E D ~ thus, –√i C R A S H E D, [*big-time! ]… & it’s fairly UNlikely that i-will-find a Way 0ut of the≈Shadow’s gloom~∞

—but: YOU Can …!!!…please, DO it –while there’s Time???

| Lantiën nú Huinë, uin polë et-túlienna, tenn’oio! (séyas…) |

Fibrosis treatment? Promising Technology – Galectin Therapeutics

Irony/(was that an Order, sir?)/ ok, but Not »here, nor »here, & particularly Not~ in Utah! [how does this Work, again?] ~Message of oloriondolinde

~¤~ {~continual Revision~ 3/26-4/2; ~still Link fixing! m/b NOW will actually ~work? …we’ll see }

@oloriondolinde: But (just) Not in UTAH?.. nor IOWA….?..
As “Witnesses -in Congress- called FOR Increased Public participation, … & Transparency”?
“in fed Land-mgmt *decision-making* Process” ??
?!(how ~dare they?)
what the h*@$l IS ≈this?? ≈feel-good Propaganda ≈direct from House Natural Resources, mind U!
(a.k.a. *bold-faced LIES??!) ± “this vital resource needs to be managed for the Benefit of All users; & *I strongly believe* that there is PLENTY of It to go around,” said Chairman Bishop (UT-01). €’8^[

Irony ? /or/
{O! was that an Order, sir?. . .I mean, about the Supreme Ct protecting FREEDOM-of-the-PRESS… & all that ~Constitutional jazz~? ? ? } Fed Ct of Appeals WIN ~
/ …uh…
~ ok,-but Not »here, nor »here, & particularly Not~ in Utah! …?
»»the Utah GAG Law««
–»The Cloud Foundation shared:
¤~¤ “New Legislation introduced in Utah
would make it
*ILLEGAL to Film* animal Abuse”!! ?
illegal to film abuse?

_________keep going:

¤ [now, how does this Work, again?]
= A wondering Message of  Olóriondolindë: Hmmm…wonder IF U can ~still ~Report? Child Abuse?. .& what if it’s on a ~Farm ? …
¤~¤ so…
√√this out!:
Muckraking (Literally): Should It Be Illegal to FILM *Animal Abuse*?
~the Atlantic~ Muckraking, should it be Illegal?
¤~¤ a.k.a. Ag-Gag-laws :
[quote excerpt]
“Last week, IOWA became 1st state (in Am.) to make it a Crime to *lie to get onto a farm TO record images* of animal Abuse. UTAH…Gov. is poised to sign legislation…to Go even further *shielding Animal Treatment* from Public view. UT’s statute would BAN photography of livestock (w/o owner permission) –a misdemeanor *punishable by Fine ± 1 yr prison.
*This new iteration of laws, a.k.a. “agricultural interference” statutes, -base upon legal concept— private enterprise has ~right to conduct~ business mostly in private–» based upon political premiselivestock industry warrants special protections (that ordinary criminal law does not afford it)”;
like general trespass/nuisance/fraud laws of IO & UT…
•“1st Amendment Interest–»likely won’t be long b4 someone is arrested/charged with these new state crimes”…thus, not “long b4 lawsuit attacking their Validity”…
Ken Paulson, of 1st Amendment Center, said that “ag gag” bills …likely Will face “significant 1st Amendment challenge.” & wrote:
News-gathering is protected by 1st Amendment, & that applies even if the gatherer is an advocacy org.
Any attempt to keep people from exercising their freedom of Speech or Press by preventing them from collecting information is going to be constitutionally suspect. It’s particularly troubling in cases where the government is trying to use its power to prevent the Public from documenting what many believe = *cruel treatment* of animals. 
• Utah/Iowa will likely have to do more to legally justify restrictions on free speech. e.g., if all the “perpetrator” is doing = taking photos, then where is “interference” w/ “agricultural” business? Doesn’t “interference” come only afterwards, + only if what images show are so disturbing as to force farms into changing practices (or lose business)? & if so, wouldn’t 1st Amendment protect gathering of such images?”
• “It’s absurd–idea that Iowa & Utah Farmers = a persecuted group needing special protection in laws designed to chill the flow of info abt matters of public health.”

Suzanne Roy, of AWHPC says, “This is abt hiding the truth of conditions at animal agricultural operations from the public. @horse slaughter summit in Las Vegas, ranchers bemoaned urbanization of America & that people have lost touch with where their food comes from. Now they try to crack down on photographic & video evidence that shows the Public exactly where their food comes from.”
…“–half-dozen other states are thinking about new “ag-gag” laws–
Every journalist, every advocate, every person who believes in the idea that “sunlight is the best disinfectant,” every advocate of *transparency*, & even every person who cares about what they eat ought to be concerned by these laws…
Put another way: If these industries need this much special protection from collection of truthful images, then
it’s awful to imagine what’s happening to some animals who live in places the cameras have not yet found.”

the misleading BS being Spewed by SUE WALLIS & greedy horse-eaters !

post~~never forget that Life–IS a Miracle~~

FDA Alert! RECALL 4 health risks! “Koff & Kold spray with Herbal-extract” & “Kold-Sore spray with liquid Sea-Mineral” by Wholistic Herbs. 2 Sprays for Eyes, Nose, Throat, Lips, Genitals =NOT sterile, Do Not Use!

  • Feb 10, 2012 News› FDA Alert!

    “Wholistic Herbs Inc” of Dallas, TX is
    *Recalling ALL quantities of 2 Spray products, distributed Mar 2009–present* Feb 2012:
    “Koff & Kold” and “Kold Sore”
    1 fl. oz. sprays
    –Because Of Possible Health Risks!
    RECALL- Non-Sterile Products!
    To: Consumers
    ISSUE: “Wholistic Herbs Inc.” notifies public it is recalling ALL quantities of “Koff & Kold” spray with ‘herbal extract’ &
    “Kold Sore” spray with ‘liquid sea mineral’.
    Both are packaged in white plastic 1 fluid oz spray bottles which contain a Product Insert inside of clear plastic lid; insert provides usage instructions to customers. Products had a “USE BY” date on bottom of bottle. •ALL use-by DATES are being recalled.

    •”KOFF & KOLD” Spray with ‘HERBAL-EXTRACT’ is intended 2 be Sprayed into
    *Nose & Throat*
    4 treatment of Colds, Flu, Cough, stuffy Nose, + Sinus Infection.

    •”KOLD SORE” Spray with “Liquid SEA MINERAL” is intended 2 be Sprayed Into
    4 treatment of Dry-eye & Pink Eye.
    Product also intended 2 be Sprayed into
    4 Sinus Allergy by pollen; & onto
    *Lips + Genitals*
    4 treatment of Fever Blisters, Shingles, Herpes simplex.
    • These products are NOT tested properly to assure their safety. Products intended for use IN the Eye that are NON-sterile have potential 2 cause
    *Eye Infections, which m/b Sight-threatening.
    + Nasal solutions, if not sterile could lead 2
    *Respiratory Infection.
    RECALL= result of routine FDA inspection which id’d several labeling issues.
    No “definite” Illnesses been reported to date.
    “Koff & Kold” & “Kold Sore” were distributed thru-out U.S.retail stores in TX, CA, WA, VA, NJ, NY, MD, IL, GA, NV, AZ, NC, SC, FL.
    Products also distributed in acupuncture Clinics & via firm Website
    These 2 spray products were distributed from Mar 2009–present* Feb 2012.
    RECOMMENDATION: Consumers who have purchased “Koff & Kold” or “Kold Sore” [@ Any date] are
    *Urged to Discontinue Use* of either product & Return it 2 Place of Purchase 4 full refund. Consumers w/questions may Contact: Ms. Sun Lee 214-691-3210 @ “Wholistic Herbs” company, Mon-Fri 9:00 am-5:00 pm CST.
    [02/09/2012-Press Release]

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